Thoughts on a Tea Tray

In the spirit of my New Year resolution to expect more of, and for myself, I set up this tea tray today for my usual afternoon cuppa.

You have to understand that usually this entails a tea bag of PG Tips (best British tea ever - strong, robust, serve with milk) tossed into a large white cup, and brewed with none of the ritual such an revered beverage deserves. How did I stray so far? Perhaps it comes from serving multitudes of melted candy bars in paper cups and calling it "coffee". But I digress ...

So back to my tea. It occurred to me while puttering around my kitchen, laying out the tray, draping the cloth just so, warming the pot and pouring just enough milk into the cup, that this tray is a pictorial representation of so many parts of Me!

Let me elaborate, dear friends. The tea pot is a Yixing dragon, a Christmas gift this year from my daughter and her new husband. He has been named Mooshoo and as befitting his lineage and history, has been formally introduced to the other seven dragons that reside in my house. One object to symbolize so many things that I love; my beautiful daughter, the man that loves her, and all things Oriental.

I must insert a caveat here. One of my more global resolutions for this year is to boycott all things Made in China. While I love the Chinese culture, art and tradition, and have yet to meet a Chinese person who has not become a friend, I cannot continue to support a regime that systematically destroys individuality and personal freedom. The recent developments in Tibet just pushed me over the edge, but this is fodder for another post entirely, so we will return for the moment to my tea tray.

Aaah, the tray. A remnant from the starter kit I purchased for the second of my Network marketing endeavours (British spelling, in honour of the tea!). An item redolent with unrealised expections, but an nonetheless undimmed faith in the industry it represents.

A side note here - I am creating another blog to explore and deal with exactly this situation. I've called it "The Burned Out Network Marketer" and it'll be geared towards all those folk who believe that MLM should work, and have tried very hard but can't understand why it doesn't work for them. Again, more on that later.

Did you notice my exquisite tea cup? It's vintage Royal Albert, made-in-England china and it's part of a set that belonged to my grandmother. I think they were for special occasions - you know, like when the Father Holything came for tea - and I don't remember ever being allowed to used them as a child. I noticed them tucked away in a cupboard in my parent's kitchen in SA when I was there last November and my mom was kind enough to let me bring them home with me. Each cup exemplifies my passion for all things vintage and beautiful, and links me to a time where quality was valued over quantity, and every day had a little soul-feeding ritual in it.

Finally, the white handmade lace cloth is one I picked up from my friend Kressa's flea market for only a dollar! Here is where my love of luxury and the finer things of life meets my frugal nature and inner Scrooge. Throw in an abhorrence of waste and an almost fanatical devotion to recycling, reusing and refurbishing, and you understand why an trip to Goodwill or a fleamarket can count as a highlight in my day. And this passion has sown the seed of yet another blog which I will call Luxe for Less, in which I will share my tips and tricks for living a finer life on as few dollars as possible while still completely avoiding Walmart! It's really the way I've created our beautiful home in the States and I've studied and learned so much over the years and I can't wait to share it all with you.

So I'll leave you with a few thoughts. Please be kind to yourself this year. Honour yourself and renew your spirit a little each day with small personal rituals. Take a moment to savour the finer things in life, whether it's the softness of a cashmere scarf; a sip of tea from a whisper-thin cup; or something a simple and precious as a slow... deep... breath.

Wake Up Call!

Picture this. The New Year begins with a horrible reality check. A couple of cold hard facts (or more accurately, cold hard numbers - see previous post) prove irrefutably that a lot of Musing and not much Manifesting had been going on throughout 2008.

Not a good start and I must admit, I was feeling small and useless, a sad shrivelled up version of my usual Abundant self. But, experience has taught me that the best balm for a miserable soul is a cup of fabulous coffee, sipped while leisurely wandering the aisles of a fabulous bookstore.

So I found myself last week in the Self Help section of Barnes and Noble, which while not quite as fabulous as my local independent bookstore, does provide one a vast array of possible remedies to whatever ails you.

I was so engrossed in the first luscious sips of said coffee, cup up to my nose, eyes closed, that I almost fell over the floor display for Larry Winget's new book.

Ok, this counts as more than just a nudge from the Universe. This is a "well-if-you-can't-take-a-hint-I'll-shove-your-face-in-it" type of move.

I stood there and looked at the title, and just smiled.

In my head I heard a small, resigned little voice say :
Hi, I'm Jacqui Gates and I have been an idiot.

What else can you call someone who knows what they should be doing to make themselves healthier and wealthier (or at least has a damn good idea!), and yet doesn't actually do it?

Or someone who whines about regaining 10lb but still buys bags of jelly beans "for the kids"? (Those kids ain't gonna see none of them jellybeans!)

Or someone who has the perfect vehicle for financial success, but doesn't spend any time on it?

Or who owns a library of self help and finance books and yet still wastes money at the mall buying stuff she could/should do without?

That person would be called an idiot - and that would be me.

If you ever catch yourself doing stuff you know will make you unhealthy, unwealthy (I just made that word up!), or is just plain unwise, then this is a great book to read. Larry is not called the Pitbull of Personal Development for nothing, believe me.

Without pulling any punches, he lays out in no uncertain terms just how we are sabotaging our own lives, and why there is no-one else to blame for our dismal situations but ourselves.

Personal accountability is somewhat out of fashion at the moment, what with government bailouts and people being "forgiven" for defaulting on home loans they couldn't afford in the first place, but in truth, we all create our own realities and I have to own up and take full responsibility for mine.

I feel like I've had an intervention! And some very exciting things have been happening since I stopped whining and started doing.

Former Idiots Unite! There's still time to create that life of Abundance! We don't have to wait for anyone's permission - in fact, we don't have to wait for anything.

The time for action is Now. Ready?

The Power of Numbers

Have you ever let a number totally and utterly ruin your day? I was blindsided this morning by two hugely powerful numbers – so powerful they actually made me physically sick.

The first number : 141.9

Not so huge really – everything is relative, right? Could be a good number if it were, say, tips for a few hours work, or the total of phone order for candles. But no. This was the number on my scale this morning. It stared malevelantly up at me, mocking my previous achievement of 133.2 and delivering a body blow (pardon the pun!) that made my head swim. An obvious, indefensible indictment of my complete lack of culinary discipline ever since I left for South Africa in November.

I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. That I could lose it all in a week or two.But deep in my ever-expanding gut, I knew I was lying to myself - again.

I could hear Rhonda Byrne’s self-satisfied little voice on “the Secret” audiobook telling me that she now maintains her perfect weight of 116lb (coincidentally my perfect weight too) and “can eat whatever I like.”

And my gut whispers back, “That’s obviously not working for you.”

The second number : somewhere between 500 and 1000

MINUS somewhere between 500 and 1000!

The total amount of money I wasted/lost/frittered away last year on my MLM business. Yes, I sold over $2,500 in just 3 home parties – a fact not to be discounted when looking at the huge potential of this business – and had I done more of said events, things would probably have looked a great deal better. But too much “organizing” and not enough actual selling can only result in a loss and a large red figure on the balance sheet.

I just didn’t realize how big a loss it would be. It sort of crept up on me in small payments for candles I didn’t sell and a website nobody visited.

I am so disappointed in myself that my head aches and I am nauseous to the pit of my stomach.

And all the while, there’s this debate going on in my head :

· So , this is going to be … let me see … the FIFTH network marketing company that you’re going to fail at?

· Talking about it is only going to attract more of the same. You know The Secret! Stop focusing on the failure!

· Your husband doesn’t really want you to do this anyway. He doesn’t believe it’ll work.

· But there are so many women out there who are succeeding at this business, when in truth they don’t have your skills or abilities.

· So why do you keep tanking?

· Can’t you ever finish anything?

Aaah, there’s the rub!

It’s all about FINISHING – all about the follow through!

So many things given up on – the weight loss; the business; the innumerable decorating projects littered around my house.

Coincidentally – is there really such a thing as coincidences? – I read a quote by Harv Eker in which he says the reason 99% of people fail at anything is because they give up too early. Or words to that effect.

So here’s the Main, Non-Negotiable Goal and Resolution for 2009 –

Whatever I start, I will Finish! Or I will follow through until I succeed.

And as though the Universe wants to prove that there’s no coincidences – here’s the quote printed on my Starbucks coffee cup this morning –

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating –

in work, in play, in love.

The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,

from the fear that likes to dress itself up

and parade around as rational hesitation.

To commit is to remove your head

as the barrier to your life.”

Anne Morriss – Starbucks Customer from NYC

Welcome, 2009!

This is my New Planner for this Brand New Year.
I just had to get one having seen it as a giveaway on my soulfriend's blog.

Don't you just love new planners? Actually, I will confess to an addiction to any new stationery - journals, letter pads, notepads, anything. There's something so promising, so inviting about that empty page, as though it's trying to coax you into a little creativity, or perhaps to make manifest the first step of a long standing goal.

Even jotting down your next Starbucks shift becomes a little less mundane.

And if you have an exquisite fountain pen with which to write - so resonant with prosperity and tradition - then the whole experience is so much more delicious.

So here we are. 2008 is officially history - good, bad, indifferent - and 2009 beckons.

I for one am determined not to let the fear-mongering and scarcity consciousness of last year carry over into this. Just like the January page in a fresh new planner, I intend to begin on a clean slate. I have set my focus on the possibilities and the potential offered by this official day of re-starts.

Today I plan to browse over 2008 for the last time - to glean what insights I can from the highs, the lows and the ordinaries - and I will use those insights to carry me forward into a truly stupendous 2009.

So forgive the four month intermission between the last post and this one.
And join me in making this the Year of Focus and Follow-Through.
Because with those two skills, and a nice new planner, we can achieve our Dreams.

Act II, Scene 1

It would seem, relative to the title of my previous post, that I "stepped back" so far I went right off stage. And out of the spotlight. Which really won't do!

Even the greatest of Divas and Goddesses (and I definitely count myself as one of them!) has times when she just "vants to be alone", just to rest, refresh, and reconnect with her goddess-ness. To corral all those scattered, shared and stolen points of energy and fuse them back together, so that she too can be renewed by it. On the days when you feel as thinly spread as butter on toast, the only true sanctuary is inside.

But no true Diva or Goddess can remain incognito for long! It's just not in our nature. There's is too much growing to do; too much abundance to share; much light to shine for those still searching. And to all of those Divas, Gods and Goddesses (Nanette, Kerry, Johann, Lin, Alexzandra) who shone their lights brightly enough to lead me back - Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Here's what I've been doing "off-stage":-
I've been reading The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin, and basically working through any resistances that came up. The scary thing was how many came up! From little tiny irritations (washing on the floor, dishes in the sink), to full blown panic attacks when thinking of newly licensed Youngest Son driving 25 minutes to college, in Atlanta traffic, in a stick shift Chevy Metro (which we all know is really a Tupperware lunchbox with a lawnmower engine!).

Some releases have been subtle. Other's potent enough to make me weak at the knees. All have made this past 10 days very interesting!

With resistance out of the way, energy flows and achieving goals becomes effortless. I spend a lot of time smiling ruefully at myself and wondering why I thought it would be so hard.

My business has been burgeoning and bearing fruit. I sold more candles last month than I did in the past six months combined! I also signed up a new distributor and a wonderful friend will be hosting a home show for me soon. I joined a local women's networking group and not only promoted my business, but connected with so many other entrepreneurial ladies that I left feeling like a REAL business woman. That feeling in itself was a huge step forward.

On the home front, I have organized (and paid for!) my daughter's wedding, as well as finding the perfect dress. I installed new drywall in her kitchen (yes, I do drywall too!) and in a surge of DIY enthusiasm, repainted my bedroom.

I taught my son how to drive a stick shift, without killing him or anyone else, and got him enrolled and registered for college.

During all this, I remained The Goddess of Starbucks; a latte-making legend to my customers and the source of all things The Secret-wise to my colleagues.

All this while keeping one eye on the Olympics, the baseball and pre-season football. (Go Falcons, I think...)

I have also managed to shed another 7 lbs, making a grand total of 18.5 lbs in 3 months.

Truly life is glorious.

Ladies and Gentlemen, intermission is over.
Dim the house lights. Strike up the band.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr de Mille.

The Value of Stepping Back

*** This is also a repeat of my Boundless Living blog, posted on August 7th.
A lot has happened since then, so there'll be two blog posts today, to get you up to date. ***

I have been somewhat out of sorts of late, which is why there've been no posts for a few days. Not exactly depressed, just a little down, a little tired, a little small. You know the feeling? Just wanting to be left along to find a warm spot with your journal and a pen and a hot cup of tea. Where no-one can bother you. Or expect anything of you.

But the World won't let you be. There are dinners to be cooked, jobs to be done, and businesses to grow. All things you've taken on yourself. And it's just so distracting when all you want to do is wander through the far reaches of your soul to find out why your seemingly perfect life is somewhat ...... unsatisfying? Is that the right word?

Don't get me wrong, I am deeply grateful for my current life - thankful to my very core - and yet there is still this nagging discontent. A persistent, irritating feeling that I should be, do and have more. I just know that I am capable of, desiring of, and yes dammit, deserving of much more. There, I said it. Does that make me greedy? If the Universe is a catalog as Joe Vitale says, am I allowed to order from every page?

I regularly end up like this. I take on a Challenge, run at it full tilt, spreading myself ever more thinly until I crumple and disintegrate like wet tissue paper.

So, instead of pushing against it and forcing my way through, which is what I would usually do, I took some advice from Kelly (a fellow Challenger) and tried the Sedona Method. It just seemed so simple. Just allow (there's that word again!) the feeling to surface, and release it.

No judgement.
No criticism for being ungrateful/greedy/undeserving/a disappointment/a phony.

Just a few gentle questions,
a brief silence,
a deep breath,
and then,
and then,
a soul-flood of Peace.

I'm gonna be OK.

And while my Challenge may not be reached in the allotted 45 days, due to the temporary detour into the slow lane,
I am going to get there.
And the timing will be just right.

Nudges from the Universe

***This is a copy of the blog post I did for my page on the Boundless Living Challenge website. Life is getting far too hectic to successfully run two blogs!***

I've had so many Nudges from the Universe over the past few days that I hardly know where to begin! Actually, some were nudges. Others were in-your-face, poke-you-in-the-ribs, pay-attention-to-this! type attention grabbers. They have come from everywhere and everyone, and tempt me into so many directions that I'm torn and somewhat intimidated. So please forgive any disjointedness in this post - I'm thinking it through as I go.

Firstly, to follow up on the previous blog post (Baby Steps) - I had a fairly successful day. I hesitate to get too enthusiastic since I didn't complete everything, but I'm still moving forward and that's what counts.10
1. I took my Sample bag and a few jars to the delicious store I found recently, and sold one jar (Yay!) with promises of further sales in the future. Not as great as I hoped, but we're not attaching to the outcome! *sigh* However, I did meet a wonderful lady who runs a business network for woman entrepreneurs, which I intend to join. I'm excited about meeting like-minded women in my city. So I'll mark this one as done and successful.
2. Did this - it was surprisingly easy. But I do need to practice not swamping the poor person with hundreds of details at once. I'm so excited about my candles and the opportunity they represent, that it's hard not to get all evangelical about it.
3. I must confess that the pile of catalogs is still unadorned. I'm moving this to number 1 for tomorrow. I'm adding to this the making of scent samples, and delegating the entire project to the Youngest Unmarried Child.
4. It's amazing what you can do in 15 mins. Just check out the Fly Lady and you'll see what I mean. I got soooo much done. The room is starting to look more like an office, and just another couple of 15 minute segments and it'll be the haven of productivity that I'm dreaming of.
5. Update my website. Haven't done that yet ... Must get it done this week. I found out yesterday how to check the traffic stats - and was gobsmacked to see how many hits I get! Way more than I ever thought.

But throughout the past three days, one question has been nagging at me. A question posed by my good friend Jennifer, (see her gorgeous blog) in an attempt to get some insights for her article on me on her community website.

The question: "What are you passionate about?"

Every millionaire-mind type book I've ever read; every article on achieving your dreams, always starts with knowing what your dreams are! What you're passionate about. What keeps you up at night and going full tilt during the day. Ester Hicks and Abraham call it "Following your Bliss."

And while I was painting my bedroom on Friday - a luscious feng-shui-appropriate gold, and absolutely not on the day's to-do list but I couldn't resist (which figures considering the revelation that followed) - I realised that I am happiest when I'm beautifying things. Taking something unloved and unwanted, whether its a chair, a room or a house, and making it into something that lifts your spirits and warms your soul. All my previous business endeavors are an extension of this. This is why I love my candles. A delicious fragrance will always make you feel better, richer, more abundant. An inexpensive quick-fix to a crappy day.

Then the next day, while investigating the cost of reupholstering two vintage wingback chairs I found (currently swathed in pepto-bismol pink, poor dears!), I found the business card of a woman that actually teaches upholstery right here in town. For the cost of getting one chair done, I could get the skills to do it myself. On hundreds more chairs! I cannot explain in words how excited this made me.

And that tiny little thought grew, mushroomed, exploded into a fullblown epiphany.

I love to make things beautiful!

That's what I'm passionate about! Beauty raises your vibrations, increases your feeling of abundance and fills your heart with joy and gratitude. My candles, my theatricality, my flea-market addiction, my reclaimed-from-the-dumpster style of decorating - everything has led to this.

So, it's no longer just about the money (gasp!). As I create and spread beauty, helping people make their homes into sanctuaries that heal their souls, the abundance will naturally flow.

I will follow my bliss.
Day by day, step by step.
And so, to bed. Perchance to dream ...
of luxurious fabrics on vintage chairs, the delicious fragrance of candles,
and creating abundance, one person at a time.

Till tomorrow,
Jacqui