25 Random Facts about Me

This is a copy of my Facebook post - I got tagged!

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. And so it goes on ...

So here's my list:-

1. I can't believe there's anything anyone doesn't know about me since I think I talk way too much.

2. I always feel fat and plain - regardless of how I look or what other people say.

3. I truly believe that you attract what you focus on, so am working on #2 above.

4. People think I'm joking when I refer to myself as a Goddess - I'm not.

5. My husband is the Center of my Universe.

6. I love my children dearly - and I really like and admire the adults they've grown up to be.

7. I hate bad manners more than anything. Especially people who continue to talk on their cell phones while placing their order at Starbucks. Don't they realize how RUDE that is?

8. People who do not put their hands in front of their mouths when they yawn annoy me intensely. Really people, I have no desire to see your spit strands or back teeth!

9. Decorating lavishly on a very small budget is my newest skill. Creating beauty out of nothing is my passion.

10. I would love to be able to speak French.

11. I feel guilty that I have never had even a moment of homesickness for South Africa.

12. I prefer to watch sport (any sport, but especially football and basebal) rather than anything else on tv. Except basketball - I really don't like basketball.

13. And while I love tennis - I absolutely cannot stand the Williams Sisters!

14. Never, ever lie to me. I might forgive you, but I will never forget it or trust you again.

15. I dream of getting a facelift, tummy tuck and bum lift, with no pain and a 24 hour recovery period.

16. I enjoy being different, but I'm very nervous of being too 'out there'.

17. I have very little tolerance for people who repeatedly make the same stupid choices.

18. I believe life can and should be lived richly, regardless of income or circumstance.

19. I wish I could have a life of historical significance, so that people will know who I am while I'm alive, and remember me when I'm gone.

20. I deeply regret not taking my theater career to professional levels.

21. I am an applause/appreciation junkie, which is why I am happiest on stage. And also why I miss it so much.

22. I never watch any movie that involves horror, gore, sadness, children, animals, or gratuitous violence. I get too involved and carry the emotions with me for days afterwards.

23. I find people totally fascinating.

24. I am a light-weight as far as alcohol goes - a half glass of wine will have me under the table.

25. I believe that swearing (using four-letter words as verbs, adjectives, and every word in between) is a sign of mental laziness and a limited vocabulary.

(I apologize if the last item offends anyone, but there is ALWAYS a better word that could be used.)

Bonus extra - I would always rather apologize than create a confrontation.

Well, I did it. This is the fifth draft since there's a fine line between "random facts" and "too much information"! LOL

Photoshop Me!

I have so often wondered what I would look like if I had access to the grooming, pampering and airbrushing that the stars have.

Well, thanks to my friend and photographer extraordinaire Jimmy Flix - now I know.

And staring at myself, "practically perfect in every way", I am buffeted by some very mixed emotions.

• Longing - oh how I wish I really looked like this! No wrinkles, blotches, and the racoon-type circles under the eyes are gone.
• Envy - not easy to admit, but deep down I am just a teeny-weeny bit jealous of the women who can afford to have the kind of polishing, treatments, and yes, procedures that achieve this kind of result in the real world.
• Resignation - now really, let's face it, I am never actually going to look this good in real life.
• Annoyance - dammit, why not?
• Acceptance - but it's ok. There are those who love me anyway. Wrinkles and all.
  

It's an interesting debate, though. Should one strive for this kind of glamorous perfection - presupposing of course that that is what your heart desires - or should one believe the mantra that "it's what's inside that matters" . Isn't that something some well meaning parent or teacher would say - in those syrupy, sympathetic tones that leave your already fragile self-esteem shattered at your feet?

Following the mindset of the Secret, if I focus on the illusion long enough, will it not become real?
What is reality anyway, if not an illusion upon which we all agree?

I saw a Twilight Zone episode in which all women, once they reached 18 years of age, were required by the State to undergo a procedure which basically turned them into supermodels. The story centred on a girl who didn't want to undergo this transformation, and her passionate battle to remain just as she was. I remember her stating that in making everyone beautiful, they were basically making everyone the same. In this Utopia there was no room for wrinkles, saggy skin, crooked noses - indeed, individuality of any kind.

And I do believe in individuality.

So while I love my airbrushed Perfect-Self in the picture, I think I can be happy just being my Best-Self, ever changing, ever improving, always unique.

Viva la Difference!

Pictures from the Old Country

They say a picture can paint a thousand words, but sometimes there are a thousand memories in there too.

A long time, very dear friend sent me a link to a blog devoted to Port Elizabeth, the harbour city known now for its illustrious son Nelson Mandela, where my gypsy family finally settled in 1970.

Browsing through the exquisite photos posted here, I was transported into the past. Here's a picture of the maternity home, previously a colonial malaria clinic, in which both my babies were born; there's one of the mini "traffic lights" where they learned their road skills so many years ago.

If you ever get the chance to visit South Africa, dearest Reader, please do not confine your trip to the majesty of Cape Town or the flashy lights of Johannesburg. There is a gem just a little further up the coast in which the true heart of the country can be heard strongly beating.

Thoughts on a Tea Tray

In the spirit of my New Year resolution to expect more of, and for myself, I set up this tea tray today for my usual afternoon cuppa.

You have to understand that usually this entails a tea bag of PG Tips (best British tea ever - strong, robust, serve with milk) tossed into a large white cup, and brewed with none of the ritual such an revered beverage deserves. How did I stray so far? Perhaps it comes from serving multitudes of melted candy bars in paper cups and calling it "coffee". But I digress ...

So back to my tea. It occurred to me while puttering around my kitchen, laying out the tray, draping the cloth just so, warming the pot and pouring just enough milk into the cup, that this tray is a pictorial representation of so many parts of Me!

Let me elaborate, dear friends. The tea pot is a Yixing dragon, a Christmas gift this year from my daughter and her new husband. He has been named Mooshoo and as befitting his lineage and history, has been formally introduced to the other seven dragons that reside in my house. One object to symbolize so many things that I love; my beautiful daughter, the man that loves her, and all things Oriental.

I must insert a caveat here. One of my more global resolutions for this year is to boycott all things Made in China. While I love the Chinese culture, art and tradition, and have yet to meet a Chinese person who has not become a friend, I cannot continue to support a regime that systematically destroys individuality and personal freedom. The recent developments in Tibet just pushed me over the edge, but this is fodder for another post entirely, so we will return for the moment to my tea tray.

Aaah, the tray. A remnant from the starter kit I purchased for the second of my Network marketing endeavours (British spelling, in honour of the tea!). An item redolent with unrealised expections, but an nonetheless undimmed faith in the industry it represents.

A side note here - I am creating another blog to explore and deal with exactly this situation. I've called it "The Burned Out Network Marketer" and it'll be geared towards all those folk who believe that MLM should work, and have tried very hard but can't understand why it doesn't work for them. Again, more on that later.

Did you notice my exquisite tea cup? It's vintage Royal Albert, made-in-England china and it's part of a set that belonged to my grandmother. I think they were for special occasions - you know, like when the Father Holything came for tea - and I don't remember ever being allowed to used them as a child. I noticed them tucked away in a cupboard in my parent's kitchen in SA when I was there last November and my mom was kind enough to let me bring them home with me. Each cup exemplifies my passion for all things vintage and beautiful, and links me to a time where quality was valued over quantity, and every day had a little soul-feeding ritual in it.

Finally, the white handmade lace cloth is one I picked up from my friend Kressa's flea market for only a dollar! Here is where my love of luxury and the finer things of life meets my frugal nature and inner Scrooge. Throw in an abhorrence of waste and an almost fanatical devotion to recycling, reusing and refurbishing, and you understand why an trip to Goodwill or a fleamarket can count as a highlight in my day. And this passion has sown the seed of yet another blog which I will call Luxe for Less, in which I will share my tips and tricks for living a finer life on as few dollars as possible while still completely avoiding Walmart! It's really the way I've created our beautiful home in the States and I've studied and learned so much over the years and I can't wait to share it all with you.

So I'll leave you with a few thoughts. Please be kind to yourself this year. Honour yourself and renew your spirit a little each day with small personal rituals. Take a moment to savour the finer things in life, whether it's the softness of a cashmere scarf; a sip of tea from a whisper-thin cup; or something a simple and precious as a slow... deep... breath.

Wake Up Call!

Picture this. The New Year begins with a horrible reality check. A couple of cold hard facts (or more accurately, cold hard numbers - see previous post) prove irrefutably that a lot of Musing and not much Manifesting had been going on throughout 2008.

Not a good start and I must admit, I was feeling small and useless, a sad shrivelled up version of my usual Abundant self. But, experience has taught me that the best balm for a miserable soul is a cup of fabulous coffee, sipped while leisurely wandering the aisles of a fabulous bookstore.

So I found myself last week in the Self Help section of Barnes and Noble, which while not quite as fabulous as my local independent bookstore, does provide one a vast array of possible remedies to whatever ails you.

I was so engrossed in the first luscious sips of said coffee, cup up to my nose, eyes closed, that I almost fell over the floor display for Larry Winget's new book.

Ok, this counts as more than just a nudge from the Universe. This is a "well-if-you-can't-take-a-hint-I'll-shove-your-face-in-it" type of move.

I stood there and looked at the title, and just smiled.

In my head I heard a small, resigned little voice say :
Hi, I'm Jacqui Gates and I have been an idiot.

What else can you call someone who knows what they should be doing to make themselves healthier and wealthier (or at least has a damn good idea!), and yet doesn't actually do it?

Or someone who whines about regaining 10lb but still buys bags of jelly beans "for the kids"? (Those kids ain't gonna see none of them jellybeans!)

Or someone who has the perfect vehicle for financial success, but doesn't spend any time on it?

Or who owns a library of self help and finance books and yet still wastes money at the mall buying stuff she could/should do without?

That person would be called an idiot - and that would be me.

If you ever catch yourself doing stuff you know will make you unhealthy, unwealthy (I just made that word up!), or is just plain unwise, then this is a great book to read. Larry is not called the Pitbull of Personal Development for nothing, believe me.

Without pulling any punches, he lays out in no uncertain terms just how we are sabotaging our own lives, and why there is no-one else to blame for our dismal situations but ourselves.

Personal accountability is somewhat out of fashion at the moment, what with government bailouts and people being "forgiven" for defaulting on home loans they couldn't afford in the first place, but in truth, we all create our own realities and I have to own up and take full responsibility for mine.

I feel like I've had an intervention! And some very exciting things have been happening since I stopped whining and started doing.

Former Idiots Unite! There's still time to create that life of Abundance! We don't have to wait for anyone's permission - in fact, we don't have to wait for anything.

The time for action is Now. Ready?

The Power of Numbers

Have you ever let a number totally and utterly ruin your day? I was blindsided this morning by two hugely powerful numbers – so powerful they actually made me physically sick.

The first number : 141.9

Not so huge really – everything is relative, right? Could be a good number if it were, say, tips for a few hours work, or the total of phone order for candles. But no. This was the number on my scale this morning. It stared malevelantly up at me, mocking my previous achievement of 133.2 and delivering a body blow (pardon the pun!) that made my head swim. An obvious, indefensible indictment of my complete lack of culinary discipline ever since I left for South Africa in November.

I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. That I could lose it all in a week or two.But deep in my ever-expanding gut, I knew I was lying to myself - again.

I could hear Rhonda Byrne’s self-satisfied little voice on “the Secret” audiobook telling me that she now maintains her perfect weight of 116lb (coincidentally my perfect weight too) and “can eat whatever I like.”

And my gut whispers back, “That’s obviously not working for you.”

The second number : somewhere between 500 and 1000

MINUS somewhere between 500 and 1000!

The total amount of money I wasted/lost/frittered away last year on my MLM business. Yes, I sold over $2,500 in just 3 home parties – a fact not to be discounted when looking at the huge potential of this business – and had I done more of said events, things would probably have looked a great deal better. But too much “organizing” and not enough actual selling can only result in a loss and a large red figure on the balance sheet.

I just didn’t realize how big a loss it would be. It sort of crept up on me in small payments for candles I didn’t sell and a website nobody visited.

I am so disappointed in myself that my head aches and I am nauseous to the pit of my stomach.

And all the while, there’s this debate going on in my head :

· So , this is going to be … let me see … the FIFTH network marketing company that you’re going to fail at?

· Talking about it is only going to attract more of the same. You know The Secret! Stop focusing on the failure!

· Your husband doesn’t really want you to do this anyway. He doesn’t believe it’ll work.

· But there are so many women out there who are succeeding at this business, when in truth they don’t have your skills or abilities.

· So why do you keep tanking?

· Can’t you ever finish anything?

Aaah, there’s the rub!

It’s all about FINISHING – all about the follow through!

So many things given up on – the weight loss; the business; the innumerable decorating projects littered around my house.

Coincidentally – is there really such a thing as coincidences? – I read a quote by Harv Eker in which he says the reason 99% of people fail at anything is because they give up too early. Or words to that effect.

So here’s the Main, Non-Negotiable Goal and Resolution for 2009 –

Whatever I start, I will Finish! Or I will follow through until I succeed.

And as though the Universe wants to prove that there’s no coincidences – here’s the quote printed on my Starbucks coffee cup this morning –

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating –

in work, in play, in love.

The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,

from the fear that likes to dress itself up

and parade around as rational hesitation.

To commit is to remove your head

as the barrier to your life.”

Anne Morriss – Starbucks Customer from NYC

Welcome, 2009!

This is my New Planner for this Brand New Year.
I just had to get one having seen it as a giveaway on my soulfriend's blog.

Don't you just love new planners? Actually, I will confess to an addiction to any new stationery - journals, letter pads, notepads, anything. There's something so promising, so inviting about that empty page, as though it's trying to coax you into a little creativity, or perhaps to make manifest the first step of a long standing goal.

Even jotting down your next Starbucks shift becomes a little less mundane.

And if you have an exquisite fountain pen with which to write - so resonant with prosperity and tradition - then the whole experience is so much more delicious.

So here we are. 2008 is officially history - good, bad, indifferent - and 2009 beckons.

I for one am determined not to let the fear-mongering and scarcity consciousness of last year carry over into this. Just like the January page in a fresh new planner, I intend to begin on a clean slate. I have set my focus on the possibilities and the potential offered by this official day of re-starts.

Today I plan to browse over 2008 for the last time - to glean what insights I can from the highs, the lows and the ordinaries - and I will use those insights to carry me forward into a truly stupendous 2009.

So forgive the four month intermission between the last post and this one.
And join me in making this the Year of Focus and Follow-Through.
Because with those two skills, and a nice new planner, we can achieve our Dreams.