Act II, Scene 1

It would seem, relative to the title of my previous post, that I "stepped back" so far I went right off stage. And out of the spotlight. Which really won't do!

Even the greatest of Divas and Goddesses (and I definitely count myself as one of them!) has times when she just "vants to be alone", just to rest, refresh, and reconnect with her goddess-ness. To corral all those scattered, shared and stolen points of energy and fuse them back together, so that she too can be renewed by it. On the days when you feel as thinly spread as butter on toast, the only true sanctuary is inside.

But no true Diva or Goddess can remain incognito for long! It's just not in our nature. There's is too much growing to do; too much abundance to share; much light to shine for those still searching. And to all of those Divas, Gods and Goddesses (Nanette, Kerry, Johann, Lin, Alexzandra) who shone their lights brightly enough to lead me back - Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Here's what I've been doing "off-stage":-
I've been reading The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin, and basically working through any resistances that came up. The scary thing was how many came up! From little tiny irritations (washing on the floor, dishes in the sink), to full blown panic attacks when thinking of newly licensed Youngest Son driving 25 minutes to college, in Atlanta traffic, in a stick shift Chevy Metro (which we all know is really a Tupperware lunchbox with a lawnmower engine!).

Some releases have been subtle. Other's potent enough to make me weak at the knees. All have made this past 10 days very interesting!

With resistance out of the way, energy flows and achieving goals becomes effortless. I spend a lot of time smiling ruefully at myself and wondering why I thought it would be so hard.

My business has been burgeoning and bearing fruit. I sold more candles last month than I did in the past six months combined! I also signed up a new distributor and a wonderful friend will be hosting a home show for me soon. I joined a local women's networking group and not only promoted my business, but connected with so many other entrepreneurial ladies that I left feeling like a REAL business woman. That feeling in itself was a huge step forward.

On the home front, I have organized (and paid for!) my daughter's wedding, as well as finding the perfect dress. I installed new drywall in her kitchen (yes, I do drywall too!) and in a surge of DIY enthusiasm, repainted my bedroom.

I taught my son how to drive a stick shift, without killing him or anyone else, and got him enrolled and registered for college.

During all this, I remained The Goddess of Starbucks; a latte-making legend to my customers and the source of all things The Secret-wise to my colleagues.

All this while keeping one eye on the Olympics, the baseball and pre-season football. (Go Falcons, I think...)

I have also managed to shed another 7 lbs, making a grand total of 18.5 lbs in 3 months.

Truly life is glorious.

Ladies and Gentlemen, intermission is over.
Dim the house lights. Strike up the band.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr de Mille.

The Value of Stepping Back

*** This is also a repeat of my Boundless Living blog, posted on August 7th.
A lot has happened since then, so there'll be two blog posts today, to get you up to date. ***

I have been somewhat out of sorts of late, which is why there've been no posts for a few days. Not exactly depressed, just a little down, a little tired, a little small. You know the feeling? Just wanting to be left along to find a warm spot with your journal and a pen and a hot cup of tea. Where no-one can bother you. Or expect anything of you.

But the World won't let you be. There are dinners to be cooked, jobs to be done, and businesses to grow. All things you've taken on yourself. And it's just so distracting when all you want to do is wander through the far reaches of your soul to find out why your seemingly perfect life is somewhat ...... unsatisfying? Is that the right word?

Don't get me wrong, I am deeply grateful for my current life - thankful to my very core - and yet there is still this nagging discontent. A persistent, irritating feeling that I should be, do and have more. I just know that I am capable of, desiring of, and yes dammit, deserving of much more. There, I said it. Does that make me greedy? If the Universe is a catalog as Joe Vitale says, am I allowed to order from every page?

I regularly end up like this. I take on a Challenge, run at it full tilt, spreading myself ever more thinly until I crumple and disintegrate like wet tissue paper.

So, instead of pushing against it and forcing my way through, which is what I would usually do, I took some advice from Kelly (a fellow Challenger) and tried the Sedona Method. It just seemed so simple. Just allow (there's that word again!) the feeling to surface, and release it.

No judgement.
No criticism for being ungrateful/greedy/undeserving/a disappointment/a phony.

Just a few gentle questions,
a brief silence,
a deep breath,
and then,
and then,
a soul-flood of Peace.

I'm gonna be OK.

And while my Challenge may not be reached in the allotted 45 days, due to the temporary detour into the slow lane,
I am going to get there.
And the timing will be just right.