Wake Up Call!

Picture this. The New Year begins with a horrible reality check. A couple of cold hard facts (or more accurately, cold hard numbers - see previous post) prove irrefutably that a lot of Musing and not much Manifesting had been going on throughout 2008.

Not a good start and I must admit, I was feeling small and useless, a sad shrivelled up version of my usual Abundant self. But, experience has taught me that the best balm for a miserable soul is a cup of fabulous coffee, sipped while leisurely wandering the aisles of a fabulous bookstore.

So I found myself last week in the Self Help section of Barnes and Noble, which while not quite as fabulous as my local independent bookstore, does provide one a vast array of possible remedies to whatever ails you.

I was so engrossed in the first luscious sips of said coffee, cup up to my nose, eyes closed, that I almost fell over the floor display for Larry Winget's new book.

Ok, this counts as more than just a nudge from the Universe. This is a "well-if-you-can't-take-a-hint-I'll-shove-your-face-in-it" type of move.

I stood there and looked at the title, and just smiled.

In my head I heard a small, resigned little voice say :
Hi, I'm Jacqui Gates and I have been an idiot.

What else can you call someone who knows what they should be doing to make themselves healthier and wealthier (or at least has a damn good idea!), and yet doesn't actually do it?

Or someone who whines about regaining 10lb but still buys bags of jelly beans "for the kids"? (Those kids ain't gonna see none of them jellybeans!)

Or someone who has the perfect vehicle for financial success, but doesn't spend any time on it?

Or who owns a library of self help and finance books and yet still wastes money at the mall buying stuff she could/should do without?

That person would be called an idiot - and that would be me.

If you ever catch yourself doing stuff you know will make you unhealthy, unwealthy (I just made that word up!), or is just plain unwise, then this is a great book to read. Larry is not called the Pitbull of Personal Development for nothing, believe me.

Without pulling any punches, he lays out in no uncertain terms just how we are sabotaging our own lives, and why there is no-one else to blame for our dismal situations but ourselves.

Personal accountability is somewhat out of fashion at the moment, what with government bailouts and people being "forgiven" for defaulting on home loans they couldn't afford in the first place, but in truth, we all create our own realities and I have to own up and take full responsibility for mine.

I feel like I've had an intervention! And some very exciting things have been happening since I stopped whining and started doing.

Former Idiots Unite! There's still time to create that life of Abundance! We don't have to wait for anyone's permission - in fact, we don't have to wait for anything.

The time for action is Now. Ready?

The Power of Numbers

Have you ever let a number totally and utterly ruin your day? I was blindsided this morning by two hugely powerful numbers – so powerful they actually made me physically sick.

The first number : 141.9

Not so huge really – everything is relative, right? Could be a good number if it were, say, tips for a few hours work, or the total of phone order for candles. But no. This was the number on my scale this morning. It stared malevelantly up at me, mocking my previous achievement of 133.2 and delivering a body blow (pardon the pun!) that made my head swim. An obvious, indefensible indictment of my complete lack of culinary discipline ever since I left for South Africa in November.

I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. That I could lose it all in a week or two.But deep in my ever-expanding gut, I knew I was lying to myself - again.

I could hear Rhonda Byrne’s self-satisfied little voice on “the Secret” audiobook telling me that she now maintains her perfect weight of 116lb (coincidentally my perfect weight too) and “can eat whatever I like.”

And my gut whispers back, “That’s obviously not working for you.”

The second number : somewhere between 500 and 1000

MINUS somewhere between 500 and 1000!

The total amount of money I wasted/lost/frittered away last year on my MLM business. Yes, I sold over $2,500 in just 3 home parties – a fact not to be discounted when looking at the huge potential of this business – and had I done more of said events, things would probably have looked a great deal better. But too much “organizing” and not enough actual selling can only result in a loss and a large red figure on the balance sheet.

I just didn’t realize how big a loss it would be. It sort of crept up on me in small payments for candles I didn’t sell and a website nobody visited.

I am so disappointed in myself that my head aches and I am nauseous to the pit of my stomach.

And all the while, there’s this debate going on in my head :

· So , this is going to be … let me see … the FIFTH network marketing company that you’re going to fail at?

· Talking about it is only going to attract more of the same. You know The Secret! Stop focusing on the failure!

· Your husband doesn’t really want you to do this anyway. He doesn’t believe it’ll work.

· But there are so many women out there who are succeeding at this business, when in truth they don’t have your skills or abilities.

· So why do you keep tanking?

· Can’t you ever finish anything?

Aaah, there’s the rub!

It’s all about FINISHING – all about the follow through!

So many things given up on – the weight loss; the business; the innumerable decorating projects littered around my house.

Coincidentally – is there really such a thing as coincidences? – I read a quote by Harv Eker in which he says the reason 99% of people fail at anything is because they give up too early. Or words to that effect.

So here’s the Main, Non-Negotiable Goal and Resolution for 2009 –

Whatever I start, I will Finish! Or I will follow through until I succeed.

And as though the Universe wants to prove that there’s no coincidences – here’s the quote printed on my Starbucks coffee cup this morning –

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating –

in work, in play, in love.

The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,

from the fear that likes to dress itself up

and parade around as rational hesitation.

To commit is to remove your head

as the barrier to your life.”

Anne Morriss – Starbucks Customer from NYC