The Power of Numbers

Have you ever let a number totally and utterly ruin your day? I was blindsided this morning by two hugely powerful numbers – so powerful they actually made me physically sick.

The first number : 141.9

Not so huge really – everything is relative, right? Could be a good number if it were, say, tips for a few hours work, or the total of phone order for candles. But no. This was the number on my scale this morning. It stared malevelantly up at me, mocking my previous achievement of 133.2 and delivering a body blow (pardon the pun!) that made my head swim. An obvious, indefensible indictment of my complete lack of culinary discipline ever since I left for South Africa in November.

I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. That I could lose it all in a week or two.But deep in my ever-expanding gut, I knew I was lying to myself - again.

I could hear Rhonda Byrne’s self-satisfied little voice on “the Secret” audiobook telling me that she now maintains her perfect weight of 116lb (coincidentally my perfect weight too) and “can eat whatever I like.”

And my gut whispers back, “That’s obviously not working for you.”

The second number : somewhere between 500 and 1000

MINUS somewhere between 500 and 1000!

The total amount of money I wasted/lost/frittered away last year on my MLM business. Yes, I sold over $2,500 in just 3 home parties – a fact not to be discounted when looking at the huge potential of this business – and had I done more of said events, things would probably have looked a great deal better. But too much “organizing” and not enough actual selling can only result in a loss and a large red figure on the balance sheet.

I just didn’t realize how big a loss it would be. It sort of crept up on me in small payments for candles I didn’t sell and a website nobody visited.

I am so disappointed in myself that my head aches and I am nauseous to the pit of my stomach.

And all the while, there’s this debate going on in my head :

· So , this is going to be … let me see … the FIFTH network marketing company that you’re going to fail at?

· Talking about it is only going to attract more of the same. You know The Secret! Stop focusing on the failure!

· Your husband doesn’t really want you to do this anyway. He doesn’t believe it’ll work.

· But there are so many women out there who are succeeding at this business, when in truth they don’t have your skills or abilities.

· So why do you keep tanking?

· Can’t you ever finish anything?

Aaah, there’s the rub!

It’s all about FINISHING – all about the follow through!

So many things given up on – the weight loss; the business; the innumerable decorating projects littered around my house.

Coincidentally – is there really such a thing as coincidences? – I read a quote by Harv Eker in which he says the reason 99% of people fail at anything is because they give up too early. Or words to that effect.

So here’s the Main, Non-Negotiable Goal and Resolution for 2009 –

Whatever I start, I will Finish! Or I will follow through until I succeed.

And as though the Universe wants to prove that there’s no coincidences – here’s the quote printed on my Starbucks coffee cup this morning –

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating –

in work, in play, in love.

The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,

from the fear that likes to dress itself up

and parade around as rational hesitation.

To commit is to remove your head

as the barrier to your life.”

Anne Morriss – Starbucks Customer from NYC

So very much to share with you, Gentle Readers, that I hardly know where to begin.

I must first apologise for the long silences between the last few posts. I can only blame it on houses needing paint; floors needing cleaning; daughters planning weddings; sons entering college; husbands needing dinner; all coupled with growing my candle company and helping to keep my Starbucks open.

But the two Most Importent Items are as follows :-

Behold my Weight-loss graph!


Absolute, concrete, visual proof that I, Jacqui Gates, perpetually-plump-and-on-a-diet Jacqui Gates, have actually lost 13 lbs!
And the most wondrous, life affirming, self-validating part of all is that I know that this time it's permanent. I have found a tool to keep me on track, a system that works for me and above all, I can actually see myself as Thin. In the pictures in my head, I am slim and fit and vibrantly healthy, and every day the manifestation is becoming more and more real.

And this achievement has in turn given birth to a revitalization of my other purpose in life - to create an abundant life for myself and my family, and lead and empower others to do the same.

I have joined Bob Doyle's Boundless Living Challenge. You can get all the details if you follow the link, but basically it's a global 45 day challenge to step out of your comfort zone and actually reach a goal you're passionate about.

My goal is to Grow My Business to the point where it more than covers my monthly costs. This means to stop playing office (you know, organize my catalogs; make some pretty folders; tidy the office; etc; etc) and actually get out there and sell!

I'm creating a 5 Steps a Day plan that I'm committed to carrying out each and every day. No more airy fairy vague goals - just specific, identifiable, measurable results.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow .....

No really, I promise!

The Woman in the Mirror

I'm actually beginning to like what I see in the mirror.

Only those of us who have developed that specific kind of tunnel vision that only allows one to focus on the "nice" and "passable" portions of our bodies when confronted (usually by surprise - like in shop windows) with a wide-screen, head-to-toe reflection of ourselves, will understand what a profound statement that is.

You know that mental cinematic trick that zooms in on a pretty nose or shapely ankles, and just fuzzes over the bulging hips and poochy belly in between? Well, for the first time in decades, the scale is my friend and I can actually see my butt lifting off my knees!

The magician's wand that has helped me manifest this miracle is a free website on which I have been tracking my calories and carbs for the past six weeks. That, coupled with a final resigned acceptance that I really cannot eat wheat without it resulting in zeppelin-like bloating and stomach curling agony. So I'm down 9 lbs in 2 months and fast regaining my former sylph-like figure.

I tell The Centre of My Universe that I still have everything I had when I married him 26 years ago - it's all just a little lower. But at least, soon, finally, it'll be almost the same size too ...